We have had many discussions over the last few months about being keepers at home and what it means. I am raising two daughters and two sons, there is much instruction in God's word as to how I should be teaching both. Not everyone will have this conviction, but I think it important for me to teach and to be an example of.
Now I have been served by wonderful, Christian women in roles in the workplace - I've been thankful for the nurse in Iowa that could always draw my blood on the first try, the CT tech that comforted me one time by referring to Scripture, my mother in law who was able to share the love of Christ in many places throughout her years of work and I can think of many more examples - It's just something that today, as who I am now that the Lord has impressed upon me to teach and live out. And perhaps those women out there may have loved to be at home more.
I had a very humbling experience this year and the Lord gave me a different understanding of that part of Titus, chapter two where there is instruction to women to be keepers at home. I wanted to share that with you and how the Lord worked it.
I had an opportunity to work away from the home and after prayerfully considering it I pursued it. I spoke to and received some counsel from family but I believe I helped by putting my "spin" on how well it would work out even though I still had children at home. I am a widower, I have older children, I have two adults in the home to help out, etc., etc., etc. I felt that the Lord kept opening those proverbial doors, actually I'm not sure that is in Proverbs or not - the Lord opening doors may be a fleshly support, is it actually in Scripture? (Please help me out if you know!) So I pursued it - this work could call me away from home at any hour, unexpectedly without much warning to time, just a general idea of a date. I kept a bag packed and ready to go at a moments notice. The first time I went I was away from home for over 24 hours - I was constantly thinking of home, how my kids were doing, if there were any problems, and remembering that I didn't say this or that or give instruction as to what should happen if I were gone longer. My focus was still on my family, not with the situation it needed to be on.That meant calling and texting home, when I did I got a kind of sick feeling that I couldn't identify. The Lord I believe was impressing on me in a few ways that I discovered immediately and some that I discovered later that I had been ignoring because I thought surely this was in God's will - I was serving others, I was not putting myself first, yet was I? Oh, I struggled with what to do.
Finally through many events, prayers and discussions with my husband, my Lord and Savior as it says in Isaiah 54 - I realized what damage I was doing, I was in tears. I was not serving others - I was neglecting others greater than I was serving. I was neglecting my family, my duties at home, left to be carried by someone else, going against Scripture that I was trying to teach my daughters, even my 12 year old son tried speaking to me, as respectfully as he could in asking why I was leaving the home to work, isn't it a job, what you are doing mom? I gave him an answer that made me feel better, but you know if he had asked me to show him in Scripture to support it I wouldn't have been able to do so. That went against what I am teaching them also - to always check things against God's Word. Another moment of my hypocrisy. It still makes me feel ashamed to see how blind I was at the time. UGH - even at 45 I am learning and leaning on the Lord to do those hard things and am thankful for His patience, love and mercy with me. I am thankful for His helping me understand, I had to completely humble myself, surrender it to Him and admit to Him first that I was wrong. Then came my family - that was harder, why? Because I'm mom and I don't make mistakes? I do make mistakes, I am wrong, I can be prideful, I could think of only me and justify things to suit my own understanding which in Proverbs it DOES tell me NOT TO LEAN on - my family was loving, they forgave me, they shared that they could see the fracture it was causing and would continue to cause. We all praised the Lord for His understanding. I had to speak to the woman I was working with, it was hard because I had made a commitment to help her and work along side her. Yet I had a prior commitment to my family had I not? I admitted I was wrong, I had made a mistake and wouldn't be able to continue, I had to quit now. I know it was hard for her to hear that because she also had the hope of it all working out, but again, the Lord seemed to give her understanding and I've been able to share with her how thankful I was even for that short time in just getting to know her. I also had to contact the correspondence school I had enrolled in - I lost the money that I had prepaid, there were many lessons. God still worked my mistake to His glory, isn't He amazing? I believe it was good for my family to see, because none of us are going to make the right choices all the time, we should strive to, we have the instruction, but more importantly we have God's love and mercy and His sovereign knowledge of us - He created us and no one knows us better than He.
Just because we are a parent, a mother, father, a pastor, teacher, anyone in a position of respect or authority, we are still human, we all sin and fall short of the Glory of God - God is not a respecter of persons, Praise the Lord for that. Not every person will feel this conviction or have this understanding and that is okay, I am not to judge others that may work outside the home but to take it to the Lord in prayer and let Him impart understanding and conviction. We all have a different walk with the Lord, we are all at different levels in our walk with Him, growing everyday, I pray. I don't believe working outside the home is a salvation issue. I worked outside of the home for many years before children, I know many women who work outside of the home and are wonderful mommas and wives, they love their families, it does not mean any of us are going to hell for doing so. However for me, the Lord has impressed upon me an understanding, a new understanding and I want to do His will and to share His revelation to me. It was the same way with the decision and understanding to homeschool - it was something the Lord impressed upon my husband and myself - but most adults I know are public school graduates including myself, again, it is a choice God led us to implement through the understanding of His word. Again, it is not a salvation issue.
As we have been studying deeper the instruction God gives to women - in Titus, in Proverbs, etc. I found this article. and it was helpful to me. I wanted to share it.
http://www.visionforumministries.org/issues/family/exegetical_defense_of_the_woma.aspx
My late husband was good at sharing what Greek and Hebrew words meant - He would take apart a verse word by word and explain how different words or even the same word could have different meaning depending on the structure of the sentence. It was all GREEK to me, ;) That was another thing I was thankful for in this article was the definition of words - such as when the woman in Proverbs 31 buys a field - I always thought that made her more independent of her husband almost as if she were a provider - but as the Hebrew describes it it fits and complements other Scripture to say its not BUY like we know it today - but means she saw it in disrepair and began to work it, to be a helpmeet. That makes so much sense to me.
I know this is not a popular instruction for most women - there was a time in my life I would have fought against it vehemently. We just pray that the Lord draws nearer to each of us in the ways we need. He loves us deeply. Giving up self is hard, but not impossible with the Lord, I need to daily strive to die to self and to serve Him. Don't give up, He gives strength and ability in every situation. He is the great provider.
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