Marriage

There are so many facets to losing your husband; a spouse is/should be part of your flesh, Genesis 2:24 (Whole Chapter) "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. " This is God's design. I am blessed to have shared this with my sweet hubby. You lose part of yourself, whom you have become, I lost my spiritual leader here on this earth, my earthly provider, the father to my children, my #1 fan, my sounding board for all things, we were blessed with good communication and I can say he was my best friend and the one who knew me best. You don't go out and replace that, you can't, its not possible. I'm not saying remarriage is wrong, it has its place in widowhood, but you cannot expect to replace what you have lost, my sweet prince was one of a kind as we all are and it would be wrong for me to compare or measure anyone to him.

There are many voids left by his absence, one of the largest is the loss of my marriage, I mourn the loss of my marriage to him. In today's society marriage is looked at as something temporary, something to "try on" and if it doesn't feel comfortable or fit right, it is tossed aside and not given the commitment and honor it was intended to have.

On August 16th this year I would have celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with my sweet prince and it is ever present in my mind and heart the last week or so. Tears pop up without provocation and spill over warranting an explanation here and there to the kids - I realized though that again, as milestones of blessed celebration such as Porkchops recent birth, grief waves will hit as I long to share these moments with my hubby. I am incredibly thankful for the 23 years the Lord gave to me with my husband, He says that was enough and one day I hope to feel contentment. I believe I will have contentment also as I continue to lean on my Heavenly Father as my husband, He is faithful. In the first chapter of Job, after he suffered earthly loss Job had this to say,
21 "And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

A Godly marriage is a treasure, it is hard work, it can be tough, but with the Lord at the helm, living it out the way He instructs in His Word, it will be blessed. Husbands and wives, treasure it, honor it, put Christ first in it, pray together, laugh together, cry together, plan together, again, in all letting God lead.

Job 42:5:
5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.

I have had the blessed opportunity of living out this verse, my eyes see clearer my God, He gives me my strength, my rest, my hope. I had heard of His faithfulness, read of it, sang of it, now I am humbled to say I am living proof of His faithfulness and I pray you also can testify of it in your life as well.

The kids and I are planning a trip to go back to Iowa, to be with my sweet in laws, to stay in the house that Daddy built, to visit his gravestone, to eat at the restaurant we went to, he and I almost every year while we lived in that state for our anniversary. It is comforting to have a plan for that day, yes the grief waves will hit, but I can stand up under them with God by my side. I pray I always cling to His promises of truth.