If only I knew nine months ago that it was my last morning to kiss you good bye.......
If only I knew that it would be our last night together I'd never have let you sleep.....
If only I knew I would have so many questions to ask......
If only I knew........
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My comfort comes from the fact that God, our Heavenly Father knew. Nothing surprises Him. He continues to help us, guide us and comfort us. I am thankful. It is a good thing I didn't know and none of us should fall into the abyss of "If only's", I am convinced the small two letter word, IF is a tool of the enemy.
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I miss my sweet prince more than words can express.....I cannot fathom that I have spent over 274 days and nights without him by my side. I cannot stay there long in that frame of mind that dwells in the loneliness and absence of him. Instead I try to focus on Jesus and my purpose here with our children and grandchildren, family and friends. My heart does not go a day without missing him. Sounds, smells, events will bring the absence of him into great depth and threaten my focus.....I am learning with the help of the great Comforter to discern these feelings - something as simple as my banner on my cell phone - everytime I flip it open it says :FocusOnJesus! If I can do that (and I don't do it without Him) then my day is good.
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There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
1 comment:
And that, sweet friend, is called worshipping Him while mourning! I too am convinced the small two letter word, IF is a tool of the enemy. It takes us down the wrong road and away from our Lord. I love that your phone banner says Focus On Jesus! My old phone used to say God loves you so... I think I'll use your idea of Focus on Him. It is something I need to remember moment by moment.
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