God carried me.....

God carried me through the day last September 12th - that was the day of my sweet hubby's funeral.

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I remember certain things - I remember dear friends and family there to help me with things big and small - a friend who lovingly painted my toes because my hands were too shaky, my mom who gave me a shawl to wear, felt like a permanent hug, a friend who stayed with my children and left with my children so they didn't have to go to the cemetery - friends and family who came from near and far - friends in my house and kitchen doing all the necessary work to have a meal afterwards. So many details - and I know I missed many - I remember a friend encouraging me to eat a banana at the funeral home and I tried - a bottle of water pressed into my hand more than once - a friend standing in front of me to make me invisible long enough to eat a few bites of said banana.
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Those details - the minutes that seemed like hours - hearing how sorry, shocked and grieved people were - hugs, oh, so many hugs and love pouring out from people. I was so thankful and touched by the faces I saw, the words I heard and the actions I felt. The best though, the ultimate was the one I didn't feel - God carrying me through - I didn't feel His everlasting arms around me but I knew He was there - He was in EVERY detail. And guess what? He still is - every day, every hour, every minute, every second. He has faithfully walked us through this first year and He will continue to - I am so thankful and I can feel that He is moving me to a secure and strong place.

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Do you ever doubt that God is there, that He cares, that He could forgive a sinner such as yourself? I have. Do you have questions, concerns, trials big or small? I do. He is there - He cares - He CREATED YOU - read Psalm 139 - thank Him - KNOW Him. Read His word.

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I doubt - I doubted this vacation - could I do it? No, not on my own. We saw this sign in the front of the entry to the fresh fruit and vegetable market we stopped in - I knew He was telling me that He was in the details.