I'm sure you have all been wondering how the last few days have gone here in our house.....first let me say I thank you for your thoughts, your prayers, having us on your hearts, the phone calls, emails, letters, cards, packages and notes of love. And there are many more whom are praying for us that I don't even know about.......thank you, thank you for remembering us as we journey this road of loss.
I could give you details of how rough certain moments were, whom they affected and how, how we did the same things, how we did some different things....etc, etc., but I want to tell you how God worked. He never leaves us.....He is never changing which means He is consistent in our lives. It is us who works against His consistency. He has been consistently here for us in all we do. We have all felt His presence, we have been able to witness His grace, mercy and most importantly His love of us.
1 John chapter 4 is an excellent chapter on God's love for us and what we are to have for each other. Love is shown in many ways. Depending on our age and maturity in our spiritual walk. We can be 50 yet spiritually immature......we can be 11 and spiritually mature. Those are God's ways.
I have felt the loss of my sweet prince more than ever in the last 48 hours......deeply. I actually broke down in front of my children when I had HAD ENOUGH and sobbed into a towel that was in our van so I could cover my face and hopefully quiet my sobs. It didn't last long.....and I cried out and He gave me peace. He protected my children and gave them peace and strengthened us as a family, we felt His love. How deep the Father's Love for Us was a favorite hymn of hubby's and our youngest son requests it often at our church. Do we deserve this gift? We have done nothing to deserve any of His mercy.....He gives it freely because we are His creation and He loves us more than any earthly person than we have in our life. That is amazing. I don't think we will ever be able to fully comprehend this fact while walking our earthly pilgrimage.
My husband was a strong individual. Not just physically, but spiritually and in presence. What I am realizing as I walk this journey of loss is that my Father in Heaven is even stronger and I can lean on Him, He will guide me, He will walk me through this and He wants to turn my sorrow to joy - but I have to let Him.....I cannot fight against it.
I was walking on the treadmill today listening to my Ipod......and the following song came on and I played it a few times.....it has always been a favorite of mine, I desire joy and I try to convey joy in my life although I know I have been failing miserably because I have to hide myself in Him in order to let it shine through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD5bqm59clo
I pray you can each find the JOY in this JOURNEY of life that we walk here on earth......that we let His light shine, brightly. That we be obedient servants of our Father.
3 comments:
Once again, thank you for being transparent and real. For sharing your sorrow and sharing Who is your strength and how He is working in your life. Thank you for reminding me that our God is consistant and that He wants to turn the sorrow into joy if we let Him. If we let Him......He is so gentle with us. Too often we forget how gentle our Lord is. One of His greatest attributes I have learned on this journey is His gentleness.
I am checking on you. You are not alone in your loss. We who have suffered a loss and this is our first Christmas without that person know what a void has been left. I have shared with my sisters we will not have to walk this path again - we have experienced that 1st Christmas without Mom and time does heal. We are fortunate to have so many who care about us. Sending you a warm embrace
We are listening and praying!
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