Two months ago .....

Some moments it seems he has been gone just minutes because it feels still, so surreal. Some moments it feels like a lifetime......right now, this moment, two months could be a year. It seems such a long time since I saw him, heard him, touched him.

*~~~~~*

I have talked to both my mother in law and my mom today.....was so nice to talk to them about my sweet hubby and how much we miss him yet how blessed we are to have had him and who he was......I am so thankful that he had such a strong presence about him because I can pull him up into my mind instantly to know what he would have said or done in certain situations.....we had a wonderfully communicative marriage. We talked about EVERYTHING. We complimented one another and made each other complete, whole. Where he was outspoken, I was quiet and reserved, he was the pessimist, I was the optimist....he was the risk taker, I was the worrier!

*~~~~~*

I know that in God's eye's I am still a whole person, one is a whole number, but I feel only half here most days, incomplete. I can see God working in my life to help me feel whole again, and I know that time will come. In Psalm 23 He tells us:

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

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The word THROUGH in verse 4 should give us pure HOPE in the promise that we will come to the other side of the valley. He leads us THROUGH it, we will not get stuck, we will not come to despair, it will not last forever, these times. He is comforting me, my cup will runneth over again, then in verse 6 the promise is completed with a promise again. I cling to that hope and I know that I will feel whole once again when He brings me through this valley, when all of us who mourn will feel a peace more than we feel the void and emptiness.

~*~*~*~*~*

My sweet prince left a big void in many lives, he was first a son, then a brother, then a husband, then a father, then a grandfather......along the way he was a friend to many and brother in Christ to many.....a cousin, a nephew. We don't truly realize how many lives we touch. God weaves our lives like a beautiful tapestry I have read and I like that analogy. May we always give Glory and honor in all we do, think and say to Him who created us for He does love us.