The children.....and the promises of God

So many people are wondering how the kids are doing.....that is hard to answer simply. They are each different in the way they will and are handling their loss, but the important and most gratifying fact is that they know Christ, their earthly father did such a wonderful job providing an example of how we turn to the Bible for instruction, how we pray, talk and LOVE.

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They miss him......they feel a huge void....they have all shed tears, we have had some "bossy" moments to work out....they have questioned and asked "why, Daddy?"......there are many extra hugs, extra "I love you's", extra time in the Bible, singing, listening to music and spending time with others. People are being so kind and opening up and spending time with us, we had a time of praise and worship singing spontaneously the other night as some friends stopped by......there are so many ways I see the Lord ministering to them.

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They have seen me cry, they've heard me pray, they watch me constantly......and our youngest does tend to "mirror" my mood. And at the same time I will find him reaching out to me to strengthen me....last night when I went to bed, he was laying in my spot, fast asleep with his Bible beside him and his big primary notebook with the big lines in it filled with his writing of the 1st Psalm as much as he could fit on one page. It made the floodgates open as I looked at his precious, innocent face laying there on my pillow with the evidence of him turning to God.....the beginning of his writing said, "To Mom I love you" and then his name. God surrounds us with His love and heals us in ways we cannot even imagine, and may we NEVER take it for granted.

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Our middle daughter has been leaving me index cards with notes and verses - I find them in the shower, in drawers, on tables.......and they are wonderful verses for strength and encouragement.....and as she is trying to LOVE and reach out to me she is strengthening herself by looking up these verses and writing them out......how Awesome is our God that He can do that!!

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I try to spend time one on one with each one of them......I treasure it. They are witnessing how our family and our community is reaching out to us.....they are seeing those who call themselves "Christian" doing what God has called us to do by loving one another and NOT holding on to wrongs or grudges, or judgment if we might not live our lives according to human, worldly rules. They are experiencing grace and I praise God for this. We are keeping an "open door" to people wanting to stop in and we have been so blessed.....we love each visitor and God knows when we need to see people....even the phone calls, I will be feeling vulnerable and the phone will ring and God reminds me that HE knows what I need when I need it, everytime, without fail.

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We are at the beginning of this journey.....so things can change daily.....but I know that if we keep Christ first in our lives all will be well.....it's not easy, please don't think that I don't struggle with that ......especially late at night and I wake up feeling fine and then in 10 seconds or less with a wave of nausea I remember that he is gone and my life will never be the same. God has not failed to answer my distressed call for peace and comfort......my life will be what God ordained it to be and He promises me that I do NOT and will NOT walk alone through these valleys.

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Here is the verse that awaited me in a drawer this morning from my sweet daughter:

"The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms...."

Deuteronomy 33:27