More waves....

My heart is aching....I had a grief meltdown so to speak earlier this afternoon. I know I have said there are no ways to predict these waves of grief and equally as frustrating, no way to stop them. Not that I would. I know this is part of getting THROUGH the valley that God is leading me in .... I am clinging to the fact and promise that it is He that leadeth me, He that will restoreth me. He does, amazingly enough, give me rest.

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I think about those first few hours and then days after losing my sweet prince. They were surreal, I believe that shock is a gift from God, a state of mind that He puts us in because He knows it would break us if He didn't. Scriptures would pop into my head, songs would be playing or stanzas of hymns would be upon my tongue and in my mind. Healing me.....restoring me....helping me to be there for my children who were equally as numb and shocked. It was not all about me and still is NOT.

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My sweet prince's parents gave us a book by Max Lucado called Traveling Light. We try to read a chapter a night before or after devotions. It is a commentary and thought provoking narrative by the author on the 23rd Psalm, one of David's more famous writings. I recommend it for anyone. It has been thought provoking, brought tears, laughter and LOTS of pondering different situations to our family unit. Just tonight our 10 year old asked if we had any other books by this author.

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I covet your prayers for our family..... tomorrow will be six months without my sweet prince, our Daddy, our Poppa. We have planned a special day and Lord willing we will do more healing as we spend the day together making memories and remembering him.